If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
