Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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