no, he came in my armpit
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
