32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
