Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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