I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
