it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
