I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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