Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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