That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
