so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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