my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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