How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
