matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
