toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
