so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
