Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
