I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
