Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You dont lie about slip and slides
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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