i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They took my balls.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
