Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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