So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
