Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So drunk its hurt
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
