My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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