Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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