Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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