I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
