i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
