I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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