he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You may now shotgun with the bride
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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