i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
