i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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