hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
