Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
