cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
