My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
