So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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