C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize
