Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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