I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
