Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
