Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
