So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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