Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
