i think i have two assholes
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
