Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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