Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
