Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
