i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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