She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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