Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
