I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize