you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
