I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm like, not good at living.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize