i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
