i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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