I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
