She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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