If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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