pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
