We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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