I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
