my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just had sex on a roof
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
